Saturday, March 24, 2001


and for the third time,
a chill.. skin rising
and i wish i could
look you in the eyes
because i feel this way
again..
and i want you to make
it go away because
i wont take that
from anyone..
im not your fall back crush
and hearts dont take rainchecks

so visit for me
just visit to visit
id visit for you

id visit just to visit

Thursday, March 22, 2001

smoke and haze surrond us
i wonder why im here
physically falling
mentally running closer towards the truth?
here's the world laid out simply in front of us
only covered by sheets of celephane
my world is hazy
constantly trying to pick through the wrinkles
in order to find a crease of reality and truth
we gaze at each other and fall back in our seats
watching this hazy world as though its on a televison screen
she says nothing to me
no words need be spoken
she sits back further in her seat
sighs
attempting to weave her frustration into momuments of fantasia
she begins to mold brightly colored strips of paper into stars
she craddles them in her hand
h e s i t a n t
closes her hand around them, gently but tightly
u n s e t t l i n g
trying to get a grip of something she knows to be real
i see the youth in her eyes
so lost and confused
wanting nothing but harmony
she reminds me of myself
and with that dissappears into thin air
leaving me with one image in my head
a little girl weaving crowns of flowers
as spider stimulateously weave webs of death
u n f o r t u n a t e fly
exit: girl with sparkle in her eye*

themusic begins
my heart beats to the drums
my mind sways to the bass
the beats pick up and we prepare for our journey into outer space
he takes me on his space ship and we land on the moon
as we walk along, i realize how much there is i dont know
he makes me think in ways ive never thought before and it drains me
turning his gaze towards the stars
his eyes glass over, doused in gasoline
sparking as though they'd burst into flames of passion at any minute
he reminds me of the sun
(nothing vocalized)
our minds move in synch
his thoughts are like hammers beating on the edges of his mind
(intensity)
he tries to change the subject
telling me of all the places he's travelled to
d a n c i n g on rings of saturn, playing with fire
all the while, staring at his star
he yearns, wanting to be able to fathom its philosophies
"its all you ever wanted and its yours"
its too late for him to say anything to stop me
the universe falls to complete silence
reaching out, trying to grab his star
wanting to give him all i know he's ever wanted
entire universe
i fall out of the boundries of the moon
descending into darkness
downward and away from the truth

you always came out on top

Monday, March 19, 2001

..if bicycles weighed nothing..
the moon landed
just a step ahead
on the
d a r k sidewalk.
it didnt shatter... or splatter or break
and i cleared my throat..
and walked away
taking one last look
at that kamakazee moon..
which remained
without it's full crescent
g l o r y
sullen
and
martyred
near the corner
of the street..
its glow had vanished
only white
r e m a i n e d
the moon died for me tonight
and jealous stars scattered
afraid to be
the next..
broken hearts only heal when they start to melt again.....

Sunday, March 18, 2001

this notebook, filled with cards unsent, and poems unread, is not helping me at all..

i just wish i knew how to forget. . .
"if you are from long island, it doesnt matter how baggy your pants are or how big your knife is, you are still not hardcore".